woosh. today's the day i realized what i should have realized months ago.
i shouldn't bite off too much than i can chew.
ever feel like you know how to answer your exams
but when u sit down in the hall
prepared and confident.
but as you start doing the questions
you just find yourself losing your confidence
and then soon you lose everything else in you head and you go blank
that's the shit that has been going on over and over again
and it took me only now to realize.
it's FUCKED UP!
now i'm facing the fear of failing everything and getting thrown out of the uni.
just because i wanted to "try" engineering.
it's like the whole world is crumbling down on you.
and plus when i went to talk to the lecturer.
i could see from his speech and expressions
"sigh... another guy who wants to quit at the last minute"
and i'm scheduled to meet him tmr afternoon.
gonna call my parents soon.
have to tell them now.
and just pray that i don't get shit all over me
aaarrgh!
why didn't i just follow my plans?
stop for a sem.
start out everything next year.
kan i've already told myself to take a break.
and now... see what happens?
just pray that i can still continue my studies next year.
all this striving for nothing.
and i just wasted a ton of money.
i feel like shit.
why?
is the only question i have right now.
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