- why? why not.

- why are you so annoying? why not.
- why can't you just give it up? why not.
- why can't you just forget about it? why not.
- why do you cling on so tightly? why not.
- why are you worried? why not.
- why do you even care about it? why not.
- why can't you seem to get over it? why not.
- why is it that you have to do or say unnecessary things? why not.
- why do you forget about it just like that? why not.
- why do you keep repeating senselessly and holding on to a small hope? why not.

it may seem pointless to some people to hold on to what they believe in. To not let go of Hope. To try their best to get and give the best to one another.
People who doesn't care anymore, would just give up.
and People who cares but are just afraid of the consequences, would just give up.
People who are totally in denial and afraid to give things a 2nd try or chance, just gives up.

But, why do I even care that much and even go to the extent of giving extra? why not.

You only get one chance in Life in certain things. You have to take the risk and make the difference. Even if it takes 5 or 10 years. You will not know of the Future. but the Future is in your hands. Take this Life you're given and do something good out of it. make your life special. Find Your Purpose and Embrace it with joy.

you Suffer from it, you get Hurt countless times. you Fall and you Stand Back Up. It Takes Guts to walk forward. It Takes A WHOLE lot More to turn back and give another chance, to Forgive.

Are you worthy of your Purpose? or are you just wasting your time dwelling and not make a move? it takes Countless Failures to Succeed just Once.

If everything I do will benefit You and help you do better. why not?

Of all the other "why" you asked. Why are you so afraid to Accept and face what is in front of you? Why are you running away?

Embrace your Dreams, and no matter what happens, Always Protect your Honor.

this is dedicated to You and I who experienced ups and downs. you know who you are. WE ROCK! and to Zack Fair and Angeal Hewley who taught us what it is to be a true Hero. As Dumb as Some People might think it is, live our lives once and you'll understand.

- against all odds

HOLA MI AMIGOS!
lol.

It's BEEN AWHILE I KNOW! people... busy busy week man. don't know why I can't get enough of it. LOL! continue on like that I might die. =X
Just Kidding.

Well, today's my day off. work's been fine. well nobody knows what I work as. and I don't plan to tell. haha. Went to College to apply for school already. it's kinda Expensive. x.x i'm so dead if i screw this one up.

well, today pretty much is like hmm... how do you say... relaxing? no... hmm... I have no idea how to describe it. well it's a mix of many many many many many many many many. ok enough. many stress, emotions, feelings, guts, nostalgia, petrified, eye opener, bla bla bla stuff. haha. actually i'm just bored now koz i just finished up a bunch of stuff and got a bunch more later to go.

yesterday I went to go see my Scout Juniors prepare for their Cooking Competition. well, I must say this. Girls, you pple need to start learn how to cook. lol. you gotta catch the guy's stomach before u catch his heart! that's what i heard from TV la. hahaha. well Yeah, 3 girls, having quite some hard time cooking. kinda cute watching them stress and panic at times. haha. okay i don't care if that sounded right or not. lol! ANYWAYS! had to rush home so cudden stay and taste the food. but there will be other chances soon.

Frankly Speaking, i'm Worried for them la. keep asking when they will practice again. lol. well it's their 1st time competing. I WANNA TASTE THE FOOD THE NEXT TIME! Good Luck to you guys! Win The 1st Place Trophy back!!!

Okay, for the past few days. Pretty much been working. and when it comes to work, you might feel this - the Whole World is Against You. yeap. get scolding from Boss, get pressured by deadlines, kena rejected by clients blablabla. well. I felt that for like the past few days. between work and friends. lol. maybe it's just my bad week again. or days. like today too. people seem to have angry faces and reply "unfriendly-ly" to me. lol.
--

UPDATED PART AT "9pm in the afternoooooon":
haha. yeah. I bathed just now. and wasn't like erm... concentrating?? koz was thinking bout stuff... yeah i know.... lol. and then... I kinda almost put the shower gel onto my head... lol. worse of all I already have shampoo all over my head. LOL! lucky me. hahaha...

Okay... after that. Went to wrap some Rice Dumplings!!! aka "Bak Zhang"!!! two types, erm... one is the original one. and one is the Nyonya type. haha. Anyone wanna try?? I wrapped them myself!! lol. well let me know. and if my Bros didn't finish em all. or my cousin. i'll bring some for you! haha. okay cool. erm... yeah. that's all for now. going out for some CHEESEBURGER! =X

--
Well, heck with it (the "unfriendly-ly-ness"). It's not like only I have bad days now is it? so yeah. hope it gets over soon too. kinda killing. but I know how it feels, used to it too. haha.

Hmm... other than that. I guess there's nothing much to say about. Other than MANY Sucky Things Happened. but I guess i'll get over it Soon. the fact that fine... since you want it that way. and being so inconciderate about it. lol. I AM SUPER DEDUPER FINE WITH IT.

And ON THE BRIGHTSIDE! Quite some nice things happened too to balance the Sucky things. you know what i mean. Ahar. I'll get to them next time if I remember. still need to rush stuff.

Well, week's been pretty much a tiring one. and I'm getting Old I admit that. somethings some people say Just Makes Me Wanna Laugh! but... then again. let them learn from what they said and did.

my **** got stuck on the window... the morning ripped it away oooooooohh... (you mean ouch?) - haha!

see ya'll soon. I read thru this post and I think it's kinda "fei" haha and "wu liao" and "luan luan blah" and I like it. xD
ByeBye...
still need time? maybe...

- Brendon Urie sings SUPER MARIO!

- whatever it takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And If you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes...
--

waddap ya'll,
yeah I know it's been awhile. lol.
BUSY BUSY week. did alot of stuff and still alot not done. lol. work that is.
work is great. helps to get certain things outta the head for awhile. tho it comes back and haunt every single night. but i guess getting used to it is becoming an easy task as days go by. IN FACT! it's just starting to fade away. lol. okay... sorry for the sudden enthusiasm.

Hmm... yeap. 23rd of May. well didn't decide to blog today actually. but I like desert this place for quite some time now. well mostly because i'm BUSY. and yeah. that. haha. So, today's kinda hot. the weather forecast said there wud b some scattered thunderstorms? lol. i guess they are too scattered and didn't fall in the end. haha. it's like a High of 32 degrees and a low of 24 degrees today. and so will tomorrow be. so people. get ready for some Hot Humid Crazy Weather!!!

well, the world's full of problems and everyone has their own.
Cyclone Nargis, Si Chuan Earthquake, Tsunami... etc etc.
Thinking abt these, lol, stopped some of my own problems. watching the news abt it. makes me think that my own stupid childish problems are just like peanuts that can be smashed and solved immediately. But, it still does come back and bother and bug me once in a while in a day. It kinda sucks. lol. I Long for 5pm everyday. den followed by 6pm. haha. well wanna know why?
BECAUSE!!!
It's The ELLEN DEGENERES SHOW!!! she ROCKS MAN!
AND!!!!
okay i know this is going to sound like haha whatever u gonna think. BUT!
THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY! hahaha.
This 2 shows ROCK MAN. well Zack and Cody only airs during tuesdays wednesdays and thursdays la... so sometimes... i watch Tyra. sometimes i just skip. haha.
mmhmm. i know i should stop thinking about it already. it's been like... a month now? haha.
well, Life. Sh*t Happens.
to the backstabbers and advantage takers... GOOD LUCK!
I guess whatever is yours will be yours, whatever is not will never be, eventually.
hope you had a good time u loosers and morons and selfish immature b*****ds.

haha forget it. no booooring emo idiotic waste of time posts here.
be Honest. Don't Lie. Don't Hide.
the Truth is obvious.
nuff said.
hurt the people I love and I make sure you will never have Pain receptors ever again.

today... is... hmm... I don't know how to put it. guess you'll never know untill I have the mood to talk about it. it's my secret. xD
Big Big Special Thanks to "CHUCK" lol. random name for a random person who named something randomly. HAHAHAHA
XOXO

you don't have to wonder again. I am who I am.

- noname

wassup ya'll,

lol. okay... so today's monday. and it's a public holiday. I'm suppose to start working on the camp i'm working on but somehow, i fell sick. In the morning that is. lol. so i happen to be sleeping in the morning AGAIN. and now i'm awake at night and fully recovered, AGAIN. =. =

Can anyone test my gen cells? because i really think i'm turning into a vampire. I think Vincent Valentine gave me a visit in my dream once. and asked me to join his force. lol. okay. that's lame. BUT! I Seriously am worried about the sleeping in the morning and feel super fresh at night thing. and frankly speaking, i've been drinking erm... never mind that. =X

Hmm... well i'm going to be working alot this week. haha. and i can't wait for the 23rd. and... i don't know. yeah. i guess i'll be doing quite alot on wednesday. going ard asking stuff for the scout camp. and then maybe continue on thursday. maybe not do any for friday tho. because it's already planned. yeah.

wow, although i'm awake now, but i can't seem to squeeze anything out to blog. because there's a blockage somewhere. i think i sealed it myself yesterday night. hmm... might open it up one day.

sighz. i don't know my direction now seriously. i'm just riding the river. i know certain things are gonna take a very very long time. but i just can't seem to get it over with. thankfully there's God. LOL! i know, a vampire praying to God. haha. so you see, i'm not turning into one! =X

k la. gotta give myself more time. and hope i can do that. wish me luck.
you don't know, but i just can't accept the fact that you didn't tell me anything.
what are we now?
i miss you like hell everyday, but did you even miss me when i was gone?

- youtube revives

HELLO!!!

REMEMBER THE POST ABT MY YOUTUBE DEAD?!
IT'S REVIVED! LOL!

THANKS TO THE LINK BELOW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXxouXt5dz4

hahahaha. THANKS for sending that to me!

-Ken

- don't wake me up

You came to me
in seamless sleep
slipped right in, behind my eye
on the back of my mind
we swam a sea
- of pretty sights and chandelier skies

I swore I Could feel you breath

it was all so real to me

"the light had slipped through the window
the morning ripped you away"

Don't wake me up
I am still dreaming,
the story's undone
unravel at the seams.
Don't wake me up
Death is misleading
and when I fall asleep
Sleep with your ghost.

I looked in the dark
The room calm and cold,
and quiet hollow,
I am such a haunted soul
your ghost has gone to bed,
It's all cold.

"the light had slipped through the window
the morning ripped you away"

you were a fire caught in a storm,
memories like embers keep us warm
you will leave me in the morning

leave me.

----

ssup people. lol. kinda just woke up. it's like 10pm now. haha. and no i'm not a vampire. =] sigh...

Mad Libs with Panic! At the Disco

- the horror

hello and good evening.
yes evening because I'm doing this in the evening.

what a wonderful pleasant day it is today. the morning was HOT. the birds we're HIDING. the net was SLOW. and the YouTube Crashed. =. =
yes. you heard me, the YouTube Crashed. Just like everyone here, the YouTube Crashed on me. Just this morning. It was still running Perfectly 24hrs ago. but at 1200hrs zulu today, it had to CRASH. how sweet.

Message of Death:

Yeap... it sucks. I've been living side by side YouTube this whole week. What am I going to do now w/o it? =. = i'm so going to get bored to death now. Not that I don't have any other things to do. Have lots of em the coming week. but, why must you crash now? It's not the No YouTube thing that I can't live with. it's the I Can't Live With an Error Existing in my COMPUTER! lol. yeah. i know, lame. but it's a fact. deal with it. man...

I read from some site saying that this thingy isn't really the computer but actually YouTube themselves. something wrong with their server thingy. don't really know. JUST GET IT FIXED PLEASE?!?! I know a handful of people who got this same Error as me. now I Fully Know how it FEELS. ARGH! the only way now is to post the Tube somewhere to watch it third-party-ly (I Made this word up). SIGH!

Okay, what could be worse right? haha. well let me tell you. Hot day, with a Hot Blister. well I kinda asked for the Blister me-self. haha. Played guitar from 9 all the way non stop till like 1pm? den went to dapao lunch. den continue playing. actually got it when I was packing lunch. but continued anyways. Because I somehow got addicted to playing the song I am playing. haha. and also because YouTube was down. I had the Guitar-Rage mode on. Today pretty much is like a bad luck day for me. in a way, Karma? idk... maybe... wonder what i done wrong this time. hmm...

Well, lets see... I got a little flash back and forth while playing the song I was playing on the guitar today. and it sorta made me thought to myself what an Idiot i was before and the people around me. lol. and what i've wasted and missed and lost through out the Months at the beginning of the year. Well, I guess the thing I always say is really just what's happening. "The only thing constant in this world is, Change." Ever thought of how you are going to react towards sudden changes? or like how to adapt to it? I guess not everybody does. mostly, we'll take it as it comes or in time. Some of us would most probably get freaked out and dwell on it. and Some won't give a single bit of awareness about it. Well, whatever the one out of Thousands of cases and reactions to Change you are having, I say, there's one thing we must not forget, and that is our Principle. Guard that Principle. If you have foreseen it then be prepared, also warn the people around you about it. Don't just save yourselves. Take notice of others around you. and If you can, Try to not let it change if it's Changing towards the bad side. Well, these only applies towards simple cases I guess. Those that are more obvious and logical to overcome. As for the more complicated ones, e.g personal problems and political conflicts. Well, I'm still looking for that answer myself.

Whatever it is, Just take note that not everyone shares the same view as any other individual. So, it's pretty much a Give and Take thing.

Lots of deep thinking today. Sorta helps me understand deeper towards everyday life and problems. Sometimes it's just good to take some time off and go into a free thinking mood. Well, frankly when I'm Blogging, I just free write. lol. whatever comes into my head goes into the page. I don't really think about what I want to say here. and at the end of it. If I think it's good. I post it. I Think it's bad. I delete it. LOL! so if u see senseless or jibberish stuff. don't mind me. haha.

Hmm... One more week. I don't know, I just remember things that are Important to me. and i kinda won't forget them that easily. and Really cherish it alot. and yeah... One more week from now. is the 23rd. I wonder...

Where ever it'll lead. I hope it just turns out right in the end.
most probably will update soon. so catch ya guys later.

Thanks for reading through. Much appreciated.
-Ken

- i am orang besi continues...

thrusters down...

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.
S.H.I.E.L.D

back! from erm... dinner. haha okay actually wasn't really dinner. but still.

lets see. today. isn't really boring. because went out with a couple of friends for lunch. Got some time out and some air. haha. miss hanging out with em. really cool. Watched IronMan again. which is RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME! Well yeah. I'm the GEEK who loves superhero movies! hahaha. Superheroes are childhood role models man... you can't beat them. You Just Can't.

There's Batman, Green Lantern, Superman, Spider-Man, The Hulk, Ant Man, War Machine, Thor, Captain America, Fantastic Four, Robin, IRONMAN and plenty more! hahaha. I kinda grow up watching these Marvel Characters. And I Still LOVE EM ALL! so YES! I'm A CERTIFIED GEEK! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA...

Alright enough with that. back to Reality World 101.
Actually. nothing much to say abt today other than IT ROCKED! BECAUSE OF IRONMAN! hahaha. yeah... I think i'm going to watch it the third time man... anyone wants to go? haha. hmm... what if i say... MY TREAT! for 1 or 2 la. koz i'm kinda broke now. haha.

Spent sometime out today. actually the whole day. went for lunch. then a booooooooooring meeting. You pple who been to meetings know how booooooooooring meetings are right? lol. i mean. i seriously HATE meetings. and I HATE it even more when I have to hold one. it just sucks the living out of me. Like, you have people staring at each other. and some people are afraid to voice their views. People! THE WHOLE POINT OF A MEETING IS TO VOICE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON WHAT U THINK I RIGHT AND WHAT YOU THINK IS WRONG. THEN TACKLE THE PROBLEM TOGETHER! okay.... haha I guess this only happens to pple who seldom goes to meetings or don't really have experience with meetings. But, yeah... meet about the upcoming School Scouts Camp today. with only like 2 other Scouts. What Has to be Done, Has to be Done.

So after that. kinda didn't plan this but went on instead. WE WATCHED IRONMAN! haha. with Nicky and Chong. IT ROCKS! Thanks guys for watching it with me. Helped release alot of stress. haha. and after that, we went home. and i'm here now. haha.

hmm... I guess i'll just stop here for now. Happy Teacher's Day tmr! to all my Secondary School Teachers. and Primary School Teachers. and Kindergarden Teachers.

Good Luck again! to my sister with the performance, lay low and ROCK THE STAGE! haha.
handrolls and calcium drinks!

IronMan Quote: Heroes are not Born... They are Built!

jya!

- i am orang besi

HAHAHAHA,
HELLO!

HAD TO WATCH IRONMAN aka "ORANG BESI" Again! just to laugh! hahahahaha.
Yea. TONY STARK rocks! the actor for it is Perfect. Good Casting!
Rating for the movie from me, is a 4/5 Popcorns!


MARVEL Fans or NOT. GO CATCH IT! YOU'LL LOVE IT! haha.
Okay... high on IronMan. lol! yeah. it's a great show. watched it the 2nd time already.

REMINDER! Stay after the credits roll for an Easter Egg! haha.


I'll be back to post. In the meantime. Chao!
PS: Good Luck to my little sister tmr with her teacher's day performance! you go girl!

- break down

AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!


Greetings.

as for the erm... "AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!" above it's for this:
mypreciousprinterthatprintsalotofstuffformesothaticanfinishmyworkandnotgetkickedintheass,
"deep breath"
alsotoprintoutbeautifulmusicscoretoplayisnowinastateofcomaandidon'tthinkicansaveit.
hahaha. hope u can read that.

[the death of the printer]

*Q Dramatic Music*

yeah. my printer broke down in the worst time possible. now I have to look for a printer. THANK YOU MARK KEE. for pinjaming ur printer today. he's going to KL soon. and I still got lots of stuff to print. X.X DIE! what am I gonna do w/o a printer?? acutally it's not really a problem. haha. JUST THAT IT DIED TODAY IN THE WORST TIME POSSIBLE! I NEED A PRINTER!!! =. =

okay enough of that. nothing much happened today.
Im just bored again. koz Darren is offline early. and yeah... no one to talk to. all busy working and studying and doing STUFF. have to wait till like end of the month. and later tonight at maybe around 10? yeah...

Busy busy week is coming up. but i think i will still have time to come and type type maintain this blog. somehow. i feel attached to it already. wonder if it'll last. haha.


[Meet the Computer that lost it's Printer]
**your sympathies and condolences are very much appreciated =]

see ya'll
great day today. IT RAINED THE WHOLE DAY! I LOVE IT!

- i can't explain

Hello...
To You, and you, and you and you... and you and you... and yeah you too ah... you... yeah you too... hello...

OKAY! back to here.
yeah so the day's past. been doing lots of erm... stuff
the usual everyday life routine. bla bla bla
not used to like take pictures. so yeah i'll get some next time if i remember that is.

so... everyone's got problems. weather it's a big or a small one.
and everyone hopes to solve it. asap. well at least i know i want to.
haha.
I got this... small one. want to share with everyone who's reading. and maybe feeling the same.

You know... I'm a teenager. for a few more years that is, ard 3 more? then i'm not. and so are some of you.
and u have all this, love and crushes and break ups right? then you have troubles and conflicts and headaches. haha. Sometimes you are not sure where you are going. sometimes you want to grow more mature and sometimes you don't.
Well i've been thru all that. And come to think of it. I think you guys, we, should not get tied down to all of this "things". Let Loose a lil and play around. Get around and know more people and stuff.

Haha. the thing is. i've been getting some people coming up to me and ask. "dude, don't you ever want to get a girlfriend and like be in a relationship that's stable and feel the love?"
then I ponder and say, "No, do i look like i need a girlfriend now?" and the story goes on bla bla bla. I don't think you'll be very interested. but here goes the summary of it. I give a lil speech abt we're just Teens and it would not last. Unless it's some sort of astronomical fate that i'm stuck to one girl that i meet for the rest of my life. And I don't know why people like to put me as an item with a friend i'm close with. Which will then lead to a freaking friendship gone bad trauma state. I've been thru that alot. I'm sure some of those people who maybe reading this now knows how it feels and I would like to apologize.

And okay this is out to the little girls and some girls who likes to ask about it. NO I AM NOT READY FOR A STEADY RELATIONSHIP. PLEASE DON'T ASK WHY. I JUST KNOW IT. TYVM. =]

Maybe in time i'll try to accept a stable relationship. 5 years? lol. but for now. i want to love who i choose to and just stay single for the fun of it. and a declaration to people who likes to think alot, like me. that's why i declare. don't think too much. i'm just concerned.

yeah. stuff been happening. just needed some air. and space. I guess it's why i've restarted to blog? just to write out stuff that not everybody will listen to. I miss my buddies. I Miss Darren. we used go out for tea to clear up problems and make sure they don't happen again. Thanks Dude, you've been a great help. If only you wern't so far away. you bloody Kiwi. =X

Sigh. anyways. i guess i'm holding up better now towards sudden changes. things are all MESSED UP after i finish National Service. It feels like... never mind I don't really want to go there now. But, I still need time to get used to it. and frankly, many things haven't been getting better. but the past is the past.

found this lyrics from Westlife - Fool Again

Baby, I know the story,
I've seen the picture, it's written all over your face
Tell me, what's the secret that you've been hiding?
And who's gonna take my place?
I should have seen it coming, I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus:
Can't believe that I'm a fool again
I thought this love would never end, how was I to know?
You never told me
Can't believe that I'm a fool again,
and I who thought you were my friend, how was I to know?
You never told me

Baby, you should've called me,
when you were lonely,
when you needed me to be there
Sadly, you never gave me too many chances to show you how much I care
Ooh, should have seen it coming,
I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

Chorus

About the pain and the tears
Ooh, If I could, I would, turn back the time
Ooh yeah I should have seen it coming I should have read the signs
Anyway, I guess it's over

brings back memories eh? for the people of my time la. because this song so long ago already.
yeah. that's it for now.
later!

- it's a start

LOL
Hello peeps around the world, or just Malaysia. whatever makes u happy.
yea... so i guess i'm bored enough now to start re-blogging again.
Talking to people i don't know.
Letting people i don't know read what i have to say about bla bla bla. haha.
kinda cool.
in a way.
but. it's lame. in a way.
man. don't know what am i talking about. anyways. welcome and have a good time staying around.

Hmm... 1st of, i thought about like customizing the blog page. but then... i'm too lazy and stuff haha. so any volunteers who wanna help me customize it? i accept free help and don't care how it turns out! =X

Just Got YUI's album today!! i MISS HER SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU YUI!!!
YUI YUI YUI YUI YUI YUI YUI YUI
KAWAII!!! hahaha ok.

here's a list of her songs in this Album called [I Loved Yesterday] Romanji: kino wa aiisuru no ni

[I Loved Yesterday]

1. Laugh away
2. My Generation
3. Find me
4. No way
5. Namidairo
6. Love is all
7. I Will love you
8. We will go
9. OH YEAH (this one's CUTE!)
10. My friend
11. LOVE & TRUTH
12. Am i wrong?

Songs are all NICE! Ratings: 4/5

gotta go now. so see ya'll. leave comments or something in the box beside there... there... ya... there... yes there. yup. go ahead. it won't bite. no virus oso la... no need scared. ya haha. go ahead and try. JUST TRY LA! haha. okay.

THANK YOU!