- just

hey,
what's up with everyone recently?
studies? work? holidays?
leave a tag to answer =]

well it's been one hellava week for me i guess.
test. test. and more test.

Thursday
Physics test was alright i guess. had to fall sick in the morning man.
crap.
wasn't really able to thinking straight.
luckily i can do most of the questions.
hope i get at least 60 and above?
after that,
sorta wanted to make an excuse to go back early - saying i'm sick.
eventually i really got sick.
lol.
well. went home early,
to do some stuff.

Friday
nth much i guess.
the usual
Chemistry test today

Saturday
like
went to jam.
stoned now.
Tomorrow's Merdeka.
Happy Birthday/Anniversary Malaysia.
lol.

-----
sighs...
i feel.
crappy.
i'm stressed.
i don't feel awesome at any sense at all.

i've been trying to rid myself from this
but it somehow finds it's way back
crawling into the nerves of my brain
telling me things i don't wanna hear.

i can't go with the flow
i'm stuck
in between choices and decisions
it seems like any choice i make
ends up to be the same.
why is this happening?

something i've been asking
yet not answering

it's not that, i don't accept it.
but that, the feeling in my gut tells me
i cannot end it this way.
the feeling i've been wanting to rid myself from.
gets stronger everytime i try to stop.

it's like the addiction to drugs.
you want to quit, but you just can't

-----

it tells me
you are in pain
it tells me
you are not "happy"
it wants me
to just wait
it says
"it is not going to end this way"
it knows
that "bastard" will not give you happiness
but will drag you down into misery
it whispers
because it has been through with you thick and thin
shared your griefs and happiness
it cries and worries
because it
lost you without a sound...

it will never be the same
because it will be better than before
it will change for the better
it will find it's way back eventually
i told you this so many times
and i mean it everytime i said it to you
since the day we denied the fact
and it hasn't changed since the first time i told you so
but this time,
it means deeper.
it means the very fact.

I Love You