Sunday, September 27, 2009

- living in a lie

hey peeps.


woke up early.
like damn early.

don't feel like sharing that part of the story.
lol


but,
why am i living a lie?



a lie i created for myself so that i don't feel bad and sorry for my own sorry ass


i've seen enough faces to be able to tell lies from just the body posture and face impressions.


yet i can't tell myself to stop living a lie.
why is that impact so hard?


the first one took me countless years to let go.
how long will this one take?


can someone give me a smack in the head
and correct me to stop lying my way through life?
i can't help but to just play along this game.




i'm tired of playing.
yet the only way i can get through the day
is to just continue playing.
till the game
decides to crash and end itself.



what an idiot.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

- stop and realize

Malaysia's going to form their very own F1 TEAM!


and i guess after reading that, most people locally would just say
"WTF?! M'sia's OWN F1 TEAM!? WHAT A JOKE!"

correct me if i'm wrong.
but yeah... this is the kind of people we have in our own country.

is it that hard to just give some support to your own country?
to give your own country some morality boost?
we're a young country.
yet younger countries like singapore are beating us flat and advancing better than us.

why?

beacuse their people support their country's goals...
unlike some loser malaysians that only knows how to laugh and thinks that malaysia can't do anything right.

think about it,
if you don't support your own country,
who would?


i'm just sick of hearing malaysians just talking down on malaysia.
and you call yourself a malaysian.
dumbass...

when things are going well,
you don't see yourself complain and stuff
but when one thing goes wrong,
you blame the country...

that's why i say,
it's not the country that is fucked up
it's the people that lives in it that is.


did the japanese people look down on their own?
no
are they one of the most advanced country?
yes
did the americans back out when they are going to war?
no
are they one the most powerful country in the world?
yes

the list goes on...


give it a thought people...
if you only see the bad side of whatever malaysia does
then just don't be a malaysian...
go live in some other country and see what you think.


Our country can produce good quality products
Our country has the potential
just that our people... do not want to support everything that our country has.

try giving Malaysia a chance
and you'll find out there's actually lots of good things around.


so what if the government sucks?
the people must not suck.
then again. it was the people who have chosen their leaders now NO?


i despise the people who are local and want to act like their from some other country.
they should not even have an IC that says that he/she is malaysian.
and if you wanna be some outsider.
don't concider yourself a local.
then you can say all you want about this country.

don't be a snob, a loser that criticize you own country.
it's like criticizing your own body, your own family and your own pride.


i guess the bottomline is that
we live in this country
we should not look down on ourselves
but make ourselves better.

if you know you suck.
then do something about it.
instead of being a kid
and complain and cry.


that's what Malaysia has been doing.

can't you see the BIG PICTURE?

Monday, September 21, 2009

- i'm sick

hey peeps.


i'm bored till i got sick

sick of staying at home

got a headache from staying at home

i'm dead serious...


it's so boring i wish i don't have holidays today and tomorrow.
i know...
it's not human to say that.
but seriously...

ugh. my stomach is feeling weird.
i think dinner gave me bad stomach.

i just watched malaysia's worst tv game show ever.
called 1 2 jus

wth is wrong with malaysia...
don't the people working there studied mass comm b4?
it's so bad that i don't think ratings even hit 0.01
lol

damn it.

i am going to bed early again on a holiday.
what worse could possibly come man...

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO TMR!!!

blah!

Sunday, September 06, 2009

- left it on that side of the bed


shit...
i woke up this morning
to a dream that felt so real...
i woke up finding myself really in tears and
i felt dumb

it was one of those dreams where it felt like it's reality

i was sitting in a room
a class
and i walked out as i saw her sitting in the same class
and my friends told me that she's there
i went home and change to go elsewhere

i walked out of my house,
the class ended
i could hear people shouting
happy the exams are over...

and i saw her walking out with her friends

i went to greet my friends
and she came trying to talk to me as if nothing had ever happened
as if nothing ever was

it's like she has no memory of what we were
and i ignored her

i went back home
i sat in my room thinking
and as i went to grab my stuff on the table

there she was at my door
with a sad look on her face
i looked at her and she looked at me
tears started to roll down from my eyes

and i woke up to feel alright.
i walked out of bed. to see the time
and as i turned back
i saw something that made me cry...
a tear hit my pillow and formed a shape of a heart
what odds does that happen ever in life?
hah... i don't know

and i left it on that side of the bed

it's just so stupid...
9 months i've tried
and this just tears that all back down

i even dreamt that i already turned off my fan
when i woke up
i realized i didn't.
that was how real it was. hahaha.

i never should have answered...